Archaos's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Spoof of the Colossus]

Great Looking, Unfunny

While the art in this movie is fantastic, and the ambiance is nice, the humor is tepid, with bland, unfunny writing and slightly awkward delivery. This feels like what it would be like if Carlos Mencia wrote the script for Shadow of the Colossus.

Doctormario, please continue making excellent animations, but let someone else handle the comedy.

doctormario responds:

I can respect that, but you must understand that a lot of people don't see it that way. Perhaps you should write for me, and we can get everyone on the same page. No joke.
Because what this whole thing has shown me is that nobody knows anything, about anybody, all the time. Not even a little bit.

Thanks for the review

[Brackenwood Christmas]

This didn't follow the contest rules

The contest rules were to use characters or themes from Brackenwood, and add in some new element that fits the world. You didn't do any of that. You took an original, compelling world (Brackenwood) and simply added christianity to it. I have seen the christian joke you used in many other things. I am disappointed that adam phillips actually approved of this. There are so many creatures and things you could've pulled from your imagination, that would better fit the world of brackenwood. Next time make something original up.

SecretAgentRege responds:

Actually, you are completely and utterly incorrect; but I suppose ignorance is bliss. Let me clarify for your benefit: The contest--which was held over three years ago--was to create a humorous holiday ecard that included some aspect of the Brackenwood series. It did NOT have to "add in some new element that fits the world," as you have seemed to incorrectly discern. In fact, it did not even have to include the Brackenwood "world" at all! It only needed the tiniest Brackenwood artifact within the cartoon. Some examples given by Adam at the time, was perhaps having Santa hum the Brackenwood tune as he delivers presents, or to simply have a poster of Bitey on a bedroom wall. This flash went above and beyond the guidelines for incorporating Brackenwood within it.

As for the joke; it was a completely original idea and execution thought up from my own mind within the six hours I had to make the contest submition deadline. By no means was it even conceptually based off another work. Of course I cannot express that it has never been told before or used elsewhere though I can say for certain that I have never seen or heard it in any creative work before and find it quite hard to believe that you "have seen [it] in many other things."

Finally, not only did Adam Phillips "actually approve" this flash, but it tied for Runner-Up (that means second place) and received a small prize from Adam himself, which I took as a great compliment as there were many great submissions.

You certainly do not need to leave positive reviews nor must you enjoy my cartoons but I would suggest that the next time you feel that you need to leave a review for someone, perhaps you should double-check simple things such as the contest rules found here in this example.

In response to what you seemed to think had to be done: Had there been a requirement to create new characters and put them into the Brackenwood world, I would have enjoyed the attempt at reaching as deep into my imagination to pull out some of the great and compelling ideas Adam puts into his work. Unfortunately, and as I have explained, that's just not what the contest was for.

Thanks for your review.

[kegel 'downhill ski race']

Jay donaldson isn't actually funny...

I don't know why his stuff is so popular. It looks nice but it's just not funny. Sure fart jokes can be funny but not when they're handled like this. I didn't even smirk. It was boring and cliche. And what the hell is with the overt racial stuff? The black guy is eating fried chicken! HAHA African americans are always eating fried chicken!! What about watermelon?? Then the next shot shows the black guy as, yes, a monkey... How clever. Not only do you overestimate your comedic abilities, Mr. Donaldson, Your racial jokes are just racist.

jato responds:

wow! ummm... watch the animation again.

you'll notice the black guy is NOT eating any fried chicken. the white guy is. in fact, the white guy is waving the chicken around.

sure the bucket is on the side of the black guy, but it's only to make room for the white guy's bong.

the reason the black guy isn't in the next scene (if you watch the black guy's facial expressions) -- is because he thinks the white guy is acting too weird for him. the monkey (and robot) were just added for some random zaniness...

i think you need to ask yourself why YOU assume that the black guy was eating fried chicken when he never did.

and i think YOU need to ask yourself why you liken a black man to a monkey when you could have just as easily likened him to a robot.

or why you try to draw these lines at all.

[Viewers Like You]

Good stuff. You have a good sense of humor

But next time you make a movie try to not talk so quietly all the time. It sounds like you were recording the voices while your family was asleep and had to almost whisper. Other than that though it was funny and clever.

D-R-P responds:

All of my recordings ended up clipping and crackling unless I turned the input volume down on my mic. I also had to turn down the volume digitally sometimes, due to background noises (lawnmowers outside, air conditioning... That really pissed me off sometimes) When I was finished with all the recordings, I tried to amplify them to be in about the same volume range. All that editing made some of the recordings sound like I was practically whispering. The solutions I came up with was to buy a better mic and a better sound editor that can reduce background noise without lowering volume, but I don't feel like spending the money (enough cash went to Flash itself).

[tanya openning sequence]

How interesting...

"ANYONE WHO PUTS REVIEWS LIKE BLAM THIS CRAP WILL BE REPORTED AS ABUSIVE OKAY!" Ok so anyone that thinks this mediocre opening sequence is crappy and a waste of a download can't say anything or you will "report" them? I don't think making threats is a very good way to get the people that already don't like this movie to give you a good review. Also the title of your movie is apparently "shawn firth's Tanya Revenge" What exactly is a tanya revenge?

lucifer-rising responds:

well for one if for example they sed im giving this a zero becuase of this and that and actually reviewed things then that would be okay but im tired of people just blamming things and not giving a reason and you really need to read things my naes shane not shawn and if you read it right its shane firths tanya (small font) as in name of series and then in large font revenge as in the title of the film .. eugh atleast you tried to right a review next time try leaving something a lil more constructive okay...

["R"]

Hmm

Near the end of your movie you say that the meaning of life, to you, is the "pursuit of hope." How exactly does one pursue hope? Should we hope for hope until it is caught? I think devoting your life to something that is always an idea and never reality is a very sad way to live. And why isnt the meaning of life happiness or friendship? For all your debunking of those philosophies you sure had a lot of friends to thank at the end. Finally, so this review is not a total bummer, I want to say that you raised some very interesting points and are obviously intelligent and well read.

Da-Dinictus responds:

My temporaral scoff at friendship was a view of some. I gave many views on life for you, the viewers, to think about, perhaps even help give shape to your own.
I see your point in not understanding how one can pursue an idea. But I also feel it - it can be bonding, it can be healing. It has driven us with all our emotions. And thus, I strive for hope for us all - for the better of us all.
A utopic idea? That it is.

[Army Of BLAM]

wow

I like how you say "From the mind of olay clock" when it is obvious you just ripped off the Army of Darkness movie

Olay-Clock313 responds:

wow, i like how your stupid and don't realize it's a parady. And i like how ur ugly. But i actually (for real) like how u have movies AND then judhe me. but your stupid. ITS A PARADY got that? And guess what now we both have 3rd place under our belts